hugs

Thanks Giving. An American holiday, which strangely gathers different cultures in a very atypical day. This year, a little sadder than usual with all this non sense in India...
I was invited to a lunch party on a friend's house to see his family again after two years.On the first time I went there, I was a little shoked by the whole Connecticut environment... all chic, all dressed up...
This year, I seemed to be prepared. Although dressing up has tooking me longer these days, I put together a very cute outfit. Truth has to be said, I was hoping this time, since I don't have a boyfriend, that my Conneticut was available. So there I went, on my cute high hills, Grand Central packed, metro North line straight to New Canan. On the way in, I was talking to my mom, and she reminded me to hug a lot, since that was a friendly house.
Great party, great people, great food... lots of laugh. No friend,though. For some reason, he was stuck in his school, which ended up being not that bad. I got the feeling that the family wanted to have me there and check me out. I did hug a lot. Afterall,it is a family holiday.But I got no feeling of satisfation. In other words, I was still missing hugs.
It has been 4 months since I hugged the las time (but who is counting).
Today I realized. The hugs I've been mising are not the formality kind. Not the ones you get on friends parties. The closest to a real hug I got there was the one the kids gave me. With pure honesty they just open their arms and cryed a little because I was leaving.
I've realized that hugs I miss are the ones that take long enough for you to forget you were hugging on the first place. The ones you just stay quiet, and so close to the other person that you smell their skin. For the longest the hug lasts you can forget formalities, terrorism, even the pain..

A week just for me

It may sound a little childish at this point, but from as long as I can remember I don't celebrate a birthDay. I celebrate a birthWeek. I get presents and messages for a whole week, and that makes this week the best in the whole year. Sometimes, people don't even know I celebrate a whole week, but it ends up I get their attention anyway. I did think about quiting this practice. I have heard that this may be a little too much... but what a hell!! I have this one life... all that bs. This is my life, which has preetty good moments, most of the times. I should celebrate a hell of it.
Well, this year I'm turning 25. Good age... good number. I have a whole fixation for the number 21, and I though that was a great age. But I was thinking, that was 4 years ago. Time does fly... very fast.
But I do have a lot to be grateful and celebrate. You see, it may be just a silly coincidence, but my birthday is always around Thanks Giving. It may just be a great way to make me look at my blessings and gifts and just count them.
I was thinking about time, lately. Is such a great word, that we can use for so many things. "It's time for a change..." I have no time these days... it's time for you to study... time's up... it's been such a long time...
I used to deal with time as if it was a great enemy. I remember never really being happy for growing up. I liked birthdays, but I wasn't really happy for having to change. Maybe because I was always very passionate about things and wish I could have just a little more time to enjoy them...
I don't know... what I have learned is that sometimes we wish time could pass faster so we don't miss anything; and sometimes we wish time could pass slower so we don't miss everything.
Funny,ham?
In the end, time is a great ally. I've learned that it is okay for me to have a long time ahead of me. I didn't have enough time to get mature or to get my ideas straight... and for that I may be naive and optmist. But I do have a loooong time to live, meet people and experiment things...
I remember at 20 visualizing how I would be at 25. I remember thinking that I would be, on my birthay month, defending my doctoral thesis and that I would be pregnant.
Silly, silly, silly... Because I've learned that I enjoy studying and that should never be rushed. I need time for my ideas. And for that reason, I am way far from having a family.
People I grew up with are getting marry,having babies... (not necessarily in that order).... but this is my time.
In reality, at 25, I am living in the best city of the world. I am accomplishing many dreams, such as been taught by Howard Gardner and living by myself. I am strong enough to take care of myself and face many challenges, such as not being polite when I have to, speaking up my matters... and I am allowed to be exactly the way I want.
Isn't that enough reason to celebrate a whole week?

About Caroles and Denises Part II

As mentioned before, one can have various friends, of varied kinds. The funny thing is that you cannot define a friend's type so easily. If you could, you wouldn't get hurt so many times.
For those who remember the last post on the same subject, I have very literal friends called carole and denise, and as stereotyped as it can sound they are opposites. I got this week on the mail a very delicate card where my dear friend denise thanks me for my concern about her and for a gift I brought her from home. My actions were some much simpler than her retribution. It really is true the saying that when you give you get so much more in return...
Nevertheless (and I apologize for my academic vocabulary... too many papers these days)my friend carole only gives me hard times...There is nothing really straight with this person. Nothing is for sure, and at any time you can hear an awful thing, whereas from denise you will only hear awsome things.
Last night, for the second time, I got the feeling that one of the traits of carole friends is xenophobia. Do you even know what this means?
According to our very useful wikipedia, Xenophobia is one of prejudice with more suspicion, hatred, anxiety and rejection against foreigners, or, more generally, against the different ethnic groups, or individuals whose face social, political and cultural life is unknown.
Awful, ham?
How awful then, is to hear from your dear carole friend that in her family nobody will ever get married with a foreign girl? that if they do, they will be out of the family... when, not only you are a foreign, but also you have dated her nephew?
but again, friends can't ever be similar, right?

Go Obama!!!

Even two days after the elections, I still get goose pums head to feet when I think about the wonderful outcome of 2008 elections.For the first time in my life I get so excited for Politcs. I actually quit voting long time ago in my birth country, which really made me think.
All over the country, and why not say, all over the world people are celebrating this great news. Not only we have the chance of a fresh start, but also, we have overcame many mistakes from the past.
I used we intentionally. That is because I felt so proud of this country, that is not really my birth country. Nevertheless, my grand grand parents were born here, and at their way, they worked hard to make America a better place.
I feel this now. America is a great place, with a lot of potential. We just really need change, commitment and hope, that Mr. Obama really seem to mean when he directs his words to America.
Today, I can't help at feeling American. With proud, because here we celebrate when we get, united, to a better place. And even Politcs offer that much hope. Starting now, "we" has a whole new meaning to me.