Summer Days

June, July, August and September… the best months of the year. Sunny days, longer days. Free days, more fun days. It’s great. Not that I don’t miss school. I kindda of do. But summer days are days that you can enjoy free time and do things it’s being long enough you don’t.
Think about myself is one of them. My actions, my dreams, my mistakes. They are more certainly much related. I happen to have a very dear friend spending the summer here with me. He has been a true company, taking care of me and making me see who I am these days. Although the sun is so beautifully shinning outside, I seemed to be stuck in a shadow. There is no breeze, and I cannot be comfortable with all the sweating.
I think there are so many things rushing in my mind that I am still not ready to really enjoy the summer days. These things range from a love one disease and a friend’s mistakes to my messiness in love. You see, although I seemed to priorize the disease concern, in my mind they actually occupy the same degree.
I am trying to understand what makes people to stuck themselves in shadows in such beautiful days. It is more certainly not because of the comfort. It has to be same kind of fear or stupidity. For that reason, I’m trying to focus on my own mistakes.
To carry on a relationship to a senseless point was my last season mistake. I let things get confusing… blurred. Maybe because I was cold and needed a cozy feeling. I wore different coats, but it was still a long and cold winter.
On spring, I finally felt a little warmer and ended up opening my heart. Big mistake. I set myself in a heart breaking situation one more time. Instead of getting ready for a restart, I let my heart be broken, again, like in the whole winter. No blooming this spring. Or no, let me rephrase that. Small blooming this season.
So maybe I should stay in the shadow for a little longer. Give time to repair and get stronger; make sure it won’t happen again. Because I do want to go outside and play with water, eat tones of ice-cream and get same tun.
Better hurry up. On the 20th, summer is on.