The J guys

From all the keys in my keyboard, J is one of the less pressed… Funny, ham?



Joe, John, Jeremy, Jan, Joshua, Jake, Jim, James, jerk, jack ass,… how many guys do you know as J guys?
I happen to know 4 and at least three of them are listed on my cell, one after the other. Joe kept me around to have a backup whenever necessary. Jeremy screwed “one girl in special, but no relationship”. Joshua disappeared after had fun for hours in a number of dates. Came back from the death, and died again. John has, in his words, a complicated relationship with the girl he currently lives with. Still, he kisses another girl and remains stabbed by the pain that two girls can give to a guy (as he signalizes every time he “has to go”).
It seems that there is a pattern among these guys with the J initial (which can actually be found in most American guys?). One thing has to be said, though. They are hot; they have charm and most have blue eyes (my Aquiles heels). That is exactly why we fall for them.
They also tend to be lay back, to be sure about the girl’s feeling and to have the very lame line I call you. They never do. Actually, what they do is to get girls’ Aquiles heels and scratch their confidence. It was like this with me, with Nassin, with Lissete… even with Sarah, who went out with a guy she doesn’t remember the name. But she swears his initial was J.
Was the guy’s initial really J, or was Sarah just hurt by one more guy in this city?
I’ve been intrigued by this subject for few months now. I’ve realized that all my messy affairs have involved J guys. Either they have a problem (the motivation of my theory) or I do. So, I propose that the real discussion here touches the question why great girls end up with J guys?
Let me tell you these two short stories about great girls and J guys, who ended up being stupid girls. A great girl, who wants to remain anonymous, got involved with a very hot guy. You know, the whole package. Tall, strong, brown eyes and hair. From the beginning he had an addition to his package: a girlfriend. To make a long story short. The great girl got not only a phone call from the girlfriend, but also an inappropriate e-mail, named after John, but written by his girlfriend.
A different girl, also wishing to remain anonymous, just because the whole thing is so dumb, had an affair with this J guy, who liked her when she didn’t. When she started liking him, it was a little late. He said, do you remember when I used to chase you? Now it’s your turn. This is payback. His name: Antonio.
From these stories I conclude the theory. Male specimens named after J have names which not necessarily start with J, but their soul start definitely with Jerk. For that reason, they are the weakest in the group. They can’t even break up an affair; their actual girlfriends do that for them…