I was once called of cheap. That was because I didn’t give the tip to the waitress. It wasn’t fair; because where I come from we don’t give tips. But I’ve learned the lesson. Now, when I am back home, I give everybody a tip, even to taxi drivers… people there think I am crazy. In NYC, people know very well that you have to give the tip, and that this is based on 20% tax. However, I’ve been going out with some very cheap people.
I remember having lunch with some girl friends at Spice, the very charmed Thai restaurant at University Place. One of the girls had only a Thai tea, which cost, say, U$3.00. When the check came we decided to split at least the service, so she should give U$5.00. Fair enough, right? She did give the U$5.00, but asked me back her U$2.00, which I more than glad return it to her. You have to understand that we’re talking about a very wealthy girl, who goes to “The New York school of Interiors design”, who lives on the Upper East Side, and who spends money not at Forever 21, but at Diesel and Gucci.
While searching for material for this blog… just kidding, in my real life hanging around in New York, cheapness is the first sign of good, or bad, impression for me. I’ve been going out with some people, who you can tell to have, at least, a comfortable financial situation. Still, some of them have been split the check with me. I find it cheap. I’m not saying by that I want to be supported by guys buying me lunch. I actually feel better when I can contribute, especially when I am in a relationship. However, is the gesture that should be more valuable.
Isn’t funny that cheap people wear the better clothes? Live in Little Italy? Or go to very expensive schools?
One guy would make me walk around with him for blocks while he was searching for a cheap place to have lunch or dinner – and yet, split the check. For God sake, that was a date!!By this whole economic behavior, you would expect him to dress better and pay his piano lessons, but no…
My most recent experience was with a very particular guy. Again, expensive school, very good income, but terrible etiquette. After months without seeing each other, we went for dinner. Don’t take me wrong he is a friend, and I did expect to be taken to a cheap place. It’s been like this, since always. One day, we went to a tacky place at Broadway and 125thSt, which claims to be Cuban. Awful. I actually had to split the U$10.00 bill with him. Another time, pizza slice at a whatever place. Ah, don’t forget the sub at one of those places that you choose and they heat, and God knows for how long it has been seating there.
Tonight, he took me to an Italian place at the Upper West Side. And by place I mean a corner dinner, in fact a little dirty. Great pizza and service, but so cheap. We didn’t go there because the food was good, despite the appearance. We went there because it was cheap.
Then I realized, cheap people don’t give small tips or go to icky places, only. They are overall “of little account”. They don’t care for what you tell about your life; only their stories are important. Their eyes don’t follow yours, they look at their watches. Their travel to the very boring Denver is certainly more important than you telling about your recent necessity for a student loan.
Cheap people judge you. They don’t even wait for the end of your story to better analyze why you decided to take a discussable step. They look at you with that familiar look, that you have been given to yourself. And that, in fact, only you can give it. You know the whole story, you know the circumstances and you certainly know why you did what you have done. But cheap people are little. They don’t have space in their hearts and minds to consider it.
For all that, I propose one test for your next date, or even for the next time you go out to eat with friends. If they calculate how much their dishes cost, and don’t divide the final price, be aware. These people are not economic, they are just cheap. If they take you for drinks only at dinner time, or for a pizza slice, xiiii... Unless you are going to OTTO to have the pizza, it’s a bad sign. Remember, cheap people will judge you, won’t listen to you, but will make your hear about their small ambitions. Also, cheap people will never have a good time with you at Otto drinking wine and chatting about high level staff…
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1 comment:
It is true, the matter of judging I mean. You are always being judged by people who are not confident enough of themselves. At the same time that it for sure, makes you sad and down it should make you feel stronger as YOU are the one that made them mad and that's why they are putting you on edge and judging you. They have no other way to face your abilities and that is the only way they "think" they can catch up with you. So, first things first, you learned your lesson, don't hang out with people you know you're gonna have this problem with and secondly, don't put energy for people that are not worth it. Your time is precious, spend it with the people that you genuinely like and not with the people that you "should" hang out with. Life is too short, enjoy as much as you can.
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